I Am Emotionally Drained

Right now i feel as though my heart has been ripped out of place and has been thrown to the dirty floor and trampled by people passing by. As though i cannot bear the pain that i am yet to go through. I do not blame anyone but myself because i cannot change any ones emotions and i cannot change peoples feelings. I know that she loves me but loving me as a friend just doesn't seem right to me. I value our friendship dearly but i guess she just saw the previous relationship and the friendship some-what ended. I thought that she could be the one that when i'm with her i know that for once in my life i am doing something right or the one i never want to lose. The one i couldn't imagine being without. I don't know if my feelings for her will ever change. I am not sure if i will just drown myself in a dark pool of misery and tear drops. I am not sure if even i could do anything to change her mind. I would change my name, my hair, my skin, my clothes for her. Just to hear her voice, just feel her touch, just to feel her love. Although i look through many excellent quotes about this sensitive topic i feel this quote is the best by far. "I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you're doing, but I can't help it, cause I'm in love with you." I wonder what would happen if you loved me too i wonder what it would be like just me and you i wonder what the world would be like just me and you.(personal quote) I guess friends is all that god made us to be. on this path you are a friend and possibly and it kills me to say only a friend. Although someday maybe some how we will be together and i only wait and will cherrish that day. Although i feel that i can not eat without you or sleep without you or breath without you... there is one thing i still can do without you and that is love you. I wish you the best and i hope you find the love that you truely deserve because i apparently i am not it. I hope that someone out there will make you happy and will make you feel the way i feel about you. I hope someone makes you feel that your the only one in the whole world for them and that you would rather die then be without you i hope fate is on your side. My heart hurts and brain feels as though it is going to explode. i just want to end with one final inspirational quote, "When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."-Helen Keller Although it seems that all my senses are failing and that all my doors have been closed i know that things will get better and i pray that they get better. Because i know "whatever the sorrow, whatever the pain, there are always rainbows after the rain."