What happiness is....

For many people happiness comes in different shapes and forms, but for me happiness is a bit different then other people. Happiness for me is the warmth of a tiny dog cuddling up to my face and licking me with its soft silk like tongue. Its feels like the tender embrace of a close friend you haven't seen in a while. Happiness for me isn't only the soft suddle touch of a puppy, but it can also be found in my unique style. I feel the material running up my legs and finally it sits perfectly at my waste and i think "these jeans are perfect." I always try to hide a smile from myself as though someone is watching me. I smell the toxic plastic smell of new clothes as i walk down the isle of hottopic admiring the wonderland of never ending clothes. I want it all but alas i am faced with a terrible truth, i have no money. As i leave the beautiful store in disappointment i realize that clothes aren't my only happiness. I reach into my pocket and grab a shiny metal device, my ipod. I slowly put a silver head phone to my ear and i press the play button. The music is like a drug once you start listening to it your hooked. Its the lighter to my cigarette, with out one or the other there both pretty much useless. My music is a life line it can be the only thing telling me not to do something i will regret. Most of my music is screamo witch can be a extremely low or high range of vocals which makes me feel as though i have power or i am in control. Sometimes i do listen to a soft acoustic and what i listen to is depending on my mood. There is one thing i consider to be one of the most important to me and does bring me a lot of happiness, friends. Friends are the chocolate chip in the cookie of life. Some people feel that friends are the only reason they are alive and the only reason that keeps them from hurting themselves. When I'm with my friends i forget about my insecurities and troubles and even forget about how shy i really am. I feel like i have a sun in my heart that goes on when I'm with my friends but is turned off when i am alone. I feel like slowly I'm losing sight of what's important to me and staying my own dark corner, but i wont let fear or depression hold me down. I know who i am and i know what i like and no one can ever take that away from. Happiness for me is more than a material thing for me, but its taking control of my life.